|This Entry Will Give People Cavities
||[Jan. 1st, 2009|02:17 am]
|||||I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO BED LIKE TWO HOURS AGO||]|
...But some of you are even bigger saps than me, so I went ahead and posted it. ;-)
Those of you who don't want to read the saccharine bit need not be exposed.
2008 was the best year I've had in a long time. I venture to say the best year I have ever had, at least in the time I've been old enough to measure years by personal accomplishments/experiences as opposed to exciting things that happened to me (that usually weren't really in my control, like family vacations or new cousins being born, etc.)
So yes, I think 2008 was my best year ever. This time last year, half of the people I consider friends I didn't even know, or I didn't know them very well. There are some people who were in my immediate group last year who I always considered friends, but I really got to know them in 2008 and am so happy that I did.
I was going to write more, but I should go to bed. I've done lots of personal writings on this so I feel the year has been aptly preserved. Suffice to say: I learned a lot in this year, a lot of "life lessons", I guess, not only about myself but about how I am in the world, and with other people, etc. One thing that I learned occurred on Christmas night, when I was looking at the sky (it sounds so cliche, but that was the setting.) I always get superstitious at the end of the year and think a new four-digit number can take away my good luck and bring bad luck with it. But I realized that all a year is, all a week or a month is, is a series of days, and that, day-to-day, good things happen, bad things happen, and just mundane life happens. A holiday is a marker, but it doesn't change things. So with that being said... 2008 was my best year ever, and that doesn't mean 2009 won't be as good. A lot of things improved not because I became an amazing person or discovered the secret to life... or, in my own way, maybe I kind of did. I just started enjoying things more.
I realized that Christmas wasn't as special to me this year because it wasn't that different from my life. I think being a senior has made me really treasure not only every awesome adventure, but little things: every lunch in Pearlstone, every apartment late-night gathering, even just being in the common room and having random people come in and drop off recycling. As a child, whenever it was December I never forgot it for a second, and crammed that "Christmas is coming!" feeling into everything I did. It was always in the back of my mind. Now I do that every time at school - I always have it in mind that I am lucky enough to be constantly surrounded by people that I love. When I'm there.
Christmas was special to me because I loved the spirit of it, the good moods everyone got into, and how it was catching. But now, I don't take anyone I love for granted, and, taking a page from my late Aunt Ellen's book, I try to be vocal about how much I care about people, moreso than I used to be (I realized the importance of this after her death, because our entire family had no doubts that she loved us all very much.) Now, I think I act all the time like I have some sort of spirit that I want to spread around - maybe not the Christmas spirit, but just the spirit of "Have fun. Be nice. Stay amazed. Life isn't all good all the time, so we have to little find ways to make it more bearable." Not to sound too self-righteous, but that's kind of my motto, I guess. Part of it, anyway. So now... I guess, it's like Christmas all the time to me.
I learned that being a Catholic, an artist, and someone who yearns for recognition is a deadly trinity, because you'll spend a good portion of your life believing that you are entitled to nothing but absolute misery, that you MUST endure misery to achieve what you want, and you'll look for it wherever you can. Then I realized that I guess I'm allowed to be happy. It doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong if I am. It's still a new concept for me, but I'm getting better at it.
Here's to 2009.
I love you all very much, and I know you will continue to make my life as wonderful as I feel it currently is. An 8 might now be a 9, but some things never change.