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Granny Flo

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Of course I am. [Apr. 14th, 2009|01:34 am]
Granny Flo
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |The Oblongs]

You Are a Cougar
You have more strength than most people, and with it, the ability to inflict a lot of harm.
Your power gives you confidence, and you find leading others to be easy.

You believe that you need to the best, and you are very driven to excel.
Most people immediately admire you, but some people feel very envious of your abilities.

Other things are going on in my life that are worthy to write about, but this is really all I care about.
My latest quiz addiction.
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This Entry Will Give People Cavities [Jan. 1st, 2009|02:17 am]
Granny Flo
[mood |happyhappy]

...But some of you are even bigger saps than me, so I went ahead and posted it. ;-)
Those of you who don't want to read the saccharine bit need not be exposed.

2008 was the best year I've had in a long time. I venture to say the best year I have ever had, at least in the time I've been old enough to measure years by personal accomplishments/experiences as opposed to exciting things that happened to me (that usually weren't really in my control, like family vacations or new cousins being born, etc.)
So yes, I think 2008 was my best year ever. This time last year, half of the people I consider friends I didn't even know, or I didn't know them very well. There are some people who were in my immediate group last year who I always considered friends, but I really got to know them in 2008 and am so happy that I did.
Here's Where It StartsCollapse )

Here's to 2009.
I love you all very much, and I know you will continue to make my life as wonderful as I feel it currently is. An 8 might now be a 9, but some things never change.
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POSTCARDZ [Dec. 30th, 2008|06:31 pm]
Granny Flo
[mood |guiltyI should be productive instead]
[music |why must we have music always, livejournal? Huh?]

Let me know if you want a postcard while I'm in the land of Eng. If you don't want to publicly post your address, send it to me in an email or a facebook message or some other form of technology that confounds our elders.

I love and miss you all muchly!

Maybe a 2008 post to come, but those seem like I'm really the only one who'd find it interesting. So, don't hold your breath.
And if you are holding your breath regarding whether or not I post in my livejournal, I pity thee.
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I Wrote This on Facebook First [Dec. 24th, 2008|01:13 am]
Granny Flo
[mood |excitedCHRISTMAS EVE!]
[music |Irish Rovers - Away in a Manger]

This is more of a New Year's post, but it's an important matter so I figured I'd put it out early:

It occurred to me recently that when one feels the need to be needlessly festive by adding the phrase last two digits of the current year to the end of something (as I myself am wont to do), it is lucky when the year has a nice ring to it. We've lucked out for most of our lives: ninety-something worked out quite pleasantly. "two thousand" was a no brainer. Somewhere along the line "two thousand one, two etc" drifted into "03" which still worked out well. (And yes, I know we're all thinking 'Boner Jams 03' right now. Or if "we" weren't, and I was... we (meaning you, collectively) certainly are now.)
08 was... great. and it rhymed.
But soon we will be forced to utter the dreaded phrase, "Fire Drill... 10." It's just so lackluster. Oh-Ten, maybe. (No offense to anyone in the graduating class of 2010.) We'll have to wait until maybe 2021 for it to sound all right again. "Naked Party 17!" It's just kind of weird.
And while we have an entire year of goodness ahead of us in 2009, 2008 just has such a ring to it. Great in 2008! So, my friends, brethren, kinfolk all, I say we heartily embrace, in this remaining week, the phrase "08." Let it ring true in our hearts. Let it end any proclaimation or remote exclaimation we make... 08.
(I just noticed it'll be fine in 2009. That makes me feel a little better.)
We also have to do this in the Fine 09, but that's a given.

And now for the Christmas Portion:
Whichever one of the Three Kings who decided to give Myrrh (the bitter perfume, AKA oil used to annoint the dead... er, maybe not that exact purpose but it is associated with death, for those of you who don't know (I was going to say "non gentiles" but I bet tons of non gentiles know what that is and then I'd just look ignorant).... anyway, whichever one decided to give Myrrh to a newborn was kind of an asshole.
"Hey, congratulations on the birth of your son, the newborn king, the savior of a bunch of people. Virgin birth, humble birth in a barn, magical star, angels all around, night of miracles, peace on earth for one night, nice job. But remember he's gonna be forced to die a horrible, painful, drawn-out death prematurely. Don't forget that, okay? Oh, I see you're looking adoringly at your baby on this holiest of nights. Here, here's some DEATH OIL to remind you of that. 'Cause your kid's gonna DIE. I know he's an infant now and this is like the most perfect night ever, but he will SUFFER. Oh, and you'll SEE it. Just remember. Happy birthday, kid."
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Musings on the Grinch or: Serious Matters on the Minds of the Vidlers [Dec. 22nd, 2008|11:06 pm]
Granny Flo
[mood |contentChristmas-y]
[music |The Rockettes Doing that Falling Down Soldier Thing on TV]

Mom: It amazes me that the grinch A. has a sewing machine and B. knows how to sew.
Me: Well, what else is he gonna do up there?
Mom: A sewing machine makes no sense! He could play cards or do crossword puzzles... or jigsaw puzzles.
Me: Wait, where would the grinch get crossword puzzles from?
Mom: Where would he get a sewing machine? Or a dog?
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It's Good To Be Home [Dec. 20th, 2008|05:19 pm]
Granny Flo
[Current Location |Home sweet home!]
[mood |happyChock Full O' Christmas Spirit]
[music |Harry Simeone Chorale - What Child Is This?]

(Listening to "Mary's Boy Chile") Me: What are they saying? Them find no place for to WHAT the child?
Mom: Board. Them find no place for to board the child.
Laura: I heard "Them find no place for to bone the child" too.

Me: Have you ever had Mike's Hard Cranberry?
Laura: I've never had Mike's Hard anything.
Mom: That's what she said.

(I should point out that this was following a conversation in which my mother and I were trying to suggest drinks that my sister might like, as she didn't like the most delicious cocktail ever, which my dad made, thinking it was too bitter when it was really sweet. My mom is apparently upset that my sister drinks very little besides beer, even though I didn't drink at all when I was her age.)

I also feel the need to include one portion of the Christmas letter my dad wrote this year which actually made me laugh out loud:

"We're slowly adapting to the empty nest. Certainly miss having our kids in the house, but enjoying the side benefits of unencumered access to the TV, computer, car etc. Now that Maris no longer has any female allies at home - it's one-on-one and I occasionally win the battle to watch ESPN and repeats of 'Braveheart' rather than another episode of "Top Model" "Project Runway" or "Gilmore Girls." I mean, c'mon Braveheart vs. Rory or Lorelai? Please. And I still don't know which one is the mother, and which is the daughter. Mel Gibson, swords and carnage - you can't watch that enough. But I digress."
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This is like CRACK [Dec. 17th, 2008|05:25 pm]
Granny Flo
[mood |stressedstressed]

So this is a facebook note meme going around, basically pick 20 favorite movies, get a quote from IMDB and people have to guess (Without cheating)what they are.
These are the ones no one has yet gotten on facebook, some of which are ones I am absolutely POSITIVE certain people would get and might be more likely to see it here than on facebook.
So... yeah. Basically this is an experiment/procrastination.

1. Everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.

2. Talk, you reconstructed welp of a whore!

3. It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.

4. It has to be damp.

5. A fish and a bird can fall in love, but where do they build their nest?

6. It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.

7. What goes better with hoboes than wine?

8.You're my knight in shimmering armor. Did you know that?

9. You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.
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REAL Technological Queries [Aug. 24th, 2008|12:02 pm]
Granny Flo
Dad (talking about relationships on facebook): But you can just put that you're in a relationship with anybody, right?
Laura: Yeah, but you can tell who the real couples are. Like, if there's a picture of them...
Dad: Making out?
Laura: No, not making out, dad.
Dad: Sorry. Hooking up.
Laura: Maybe I'm more ready to go to school than I thought.
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For your approval, I humbly submit... [Aug. 21st, 2008|07:26 pm]
Granny Flo
I was randomly googling one day and came across thisCollapse )
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This Freaked Me Out Today [Aug. 13th, 2008|01:02 am]
Granny Flo
If you're from Australia, you're Australian. If you're from Ireland, you're Irish. If you're from New Zeland, you're.... WHAT? A New Zelander, yes, but I don't think there is an adjective form of it. New Zelandese? New Zeland....ish? Esque?

I just wrote an entire entry where I quite beautifully, or at least wittily, if I may say so myself, recounted an event that I thought was related to this, only to realize that it involved an Australian, so the entire entry was rendered moot. It's funnier when it ties into the story but I'm not willing to share it as I don't think anyone reading this needs anymore mocking fodder for me. ;-) (I could've just not told you that, but there are some standards I do not have.)
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